pictures and memories

while i was looking through a photographer's blog, i came upon an extremely sad post. she'd posted that her 3 year old little girl had passed away. she explains in her post that her little girl had gone over to her grandfather's house to get something. they live right next door to each other and there's a wall surrounding both houses so the children can come and go as they please. well, little ava went to her grandfather's house, but she told him she was going back home. ava's mom thought she was still next door, as did her grandfather. when ava's dad asked where she was, her mom said "she was going to the car" but before she could say "and then to grand dad's house" her dad ran outside to the car and little ava was found asleep in the backseat of their car. they usually never park their car on the drive. and they always lock it, just not that day, by mistake. ava passed away from brain damage caused from heat exhaustion. i kept reading the blog and throughout the months of ava's passing, her mother had been posting pictures of her that she'd never proofed. it brought tears to my eyes because it made me start thinking about you. i never post pictures of you. so i looked through my computer and it hurts that these are the only photos i have of you. and they're not even taken by camera, but by phone. these pictures mean the world to me, simply because they're of you. they all capture your innocence, and the child in your heart.







this month, on the 15th, will be a whole year that we haven't had you here with us and every single day it feels like i'm missing something. that something is you. so as i type this up, tears are falling down my cheeks but i try to stop because brian and starley are in the other room, as is mom, and i don't want them to be concerned. most of all, i know how much you hate to see me cry. i remember i had a bad stomach ache when we went to visit you in delano, and you cut our visit short. not us. you. you said to take me home. so we did. i love how much you cared for me. you showed it in the smallest and largest ways. even when you were getting on to me about something, i know you only did it because you cared. you did everything because you cared. and i know you always will. when i feel down in the dumps, i wish i could just wrap my arms around you and just watch our favorite movie. the sound of music. i tried watching the movie a few weeks ago, and i just couldn't. it hurt too much because every time i looked to my side as i laughed, there was no one there to laugh with. but, one day that will change. one day, we will be together again. one day i'll be able to wrap my arms around you again, because i know you're there, waiting for me.

my darling super princess, forever cherished is the blog post ava's mother made about her. check out ava's page to learn a little more about her death. sheye rosemeyer photography is ava's mother's blog, if you'd like to check out her posts.