confrontation

sandra and i went with momma to see grandma emma today. sandra and i had a hard time going into your room. we almost started crying. we looked at the pictures they have in the hallway on the corkboard. we were looking at pictures of you. we swear you're teleporting from pictures you were in, into pictures you weren't in. we couldn't find a lot of pictures that you were in. during our visit, we stayed out on the patio with momma and grandma emma. grandma emma said that she was going to give me the purse she has once she gets a new one. she said people were asking if they could have it when she got her new one, but she told them that she was keeping it for her granddaughter. it was the sweetest thing. today was also willow's birthday party. can you believe she's five years old already? time flew by way too fast. she's the absolute sweetest. when we're all quiet, she'll just up and say "i sure do miss aunt terry." we all miss you. i bet i miss you the most. i've been told that others were closer to you. momma took care of you. but you raised me my whole life. i remember more times with you when i was little than i do with mom or dad. they were working and you'd babysit me. i'd have my little orange and blue slide in the living room and i'd play on it all day while we watched the disney channel. we always watched catdog, rocket power, the rugrats, growing pains, the brady bunch, the facts of life, diff'rent strokes, silver spoons, alf, and a whole bunch of other shows. i remember watching the sound of music, peter pan, mary poppins, and grease with you a lot too. we never missed a sequel movie together. i remember when you were in that nursing home in los angeles, i brought high school musical up and we watched it together. we watched high school musical 2 together too, and i'd point out chucky klapow everytime i saw him because i was excited about meeting him at the high school musical icecapades. we never got to watch high school musical 3 together. that made me sad, and mad at the same time. i laughed a lot during the movie and part of me felt bad because i didn't get to watch it with you. you hadn't passed away yet, but we still didn't get to watch it together. when i watch it now, and i laugh, i still feel bad because you aren't there to laugh with me. but, i'm also happy because i know you're sitting right beside me, holding onto me to keep from falling off of the couch for laughing so hard. i miss you like crazy. we all do. but i still miss you the most.